Do You Remember?


My friend Justy and I are a plague to each other. We are kinda like spiritual brothers who kinda think alike and are both kinda equally a chronic-melancholic. We were both from the same Church back in 1995 and now he is in Korea and I am here in KL. Connected through social network sites like wordpress, twitter and of course the ever-privacy-invading MSN. Was going through his twitter page last nite and saw something he posted on March 21st 2009. It says “A long long time ago I desperately tried to connect with God with as many words I could used. I even spoken in tongues as I’ve ran out of words. And now all that’s left is silence. Is that all that’s left?” And that’s exactly how I am feeling towards this subject. 

Ultimate question. Do I still believe in God? Honestly, I really don’t know. To me, I think God is a concept created by people to give hope to those who are suffering. In the old testament, we read about how Moses saved the people from Pharoah’s rule with the help of miracles after miracles from above. Now, what miracles do you see? I know I know, Christians will say – You should live by faith and not by sight. Yada yada yada. Been there, done that, bought the damn t-shirt. I know how to Bible bash too! I read the word till I sleep talk with it.

I find that people tend to search for a superior being to place their hopes and dreams in. There is a constant need to attach our spiritual hook on something bigger than us so that we can feel we’re hanging on to something that will be there for us in times of need. Its an innate need in every single person. That’s where the concept of God comes in handy. A being so powerful that He created the world in 7-days, George Bush can’t even hunt down a camel riding Osama Bin Laden in 7-years with the help of US Intelligence and NASA. Measly humans!


In the latest episode of 30 Rock. Jack Donoghue was about to celebrate his 50th Birthday. He received a video from his mom showing his 10th birthday party. In that video, he got a present and he was filled with so much joy that he jumped up and down in excitement till he puked.


Now, 40 years later. Looking at the video – he missed that kind of happiness and joy and would give anything to find out what was in that box that made him so happy. In a same way, I long for that kind of joy which I found back in 1995 – in a small little Church in Ipoh. The day I stood up from the congregation and walked up to the front of the altar and accepted Christ in my heart. If only I stayed that way. With that new found joy in my heart, and walked away with no more teachings, no more words of wisdom, no more bible classes, no more prayer groups, no more home cells – but just that intimate link between my Saviour and me. I guess, I would be like Jack Donoghue when he was 10. Just happy that he received a present he doesn’t deserve – but still was given to him because of the love of his Father – for him.


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